Back
in 2024, I posted "Locked
and Loaded, Part 5: A Selection of Short Impossible Crime and Locked
Room Mystery Stories," a series of reviews of randomly selected
short stories, which included the misidentified, non-impossible crime
story, "Cardula and the Locked Rooms" (1982), penned by Jack
Ritchie – another long-gone giant of short stories. So even though "Cardula and the Locked Rooms" is not an impossible crime story,
it's still a hilarious and clever mystery about Cardula (Dracula) who
moved to the US to moonlight as a private detective. And the reason
why Cardula had to flee to the US is fantastic in the literal sense
of the word. To quote Mike Grost, "the
throwing of his vampire detective Cardula out of East Europe after
the Communists nationalized his castle is a great comic concept."
"Cardula
and the Locked Rooms" not only has a genuinely funny and fresh
premise for a private eye series, but it's also a pretty good, solid
detective story in its own right. Cardula is hired by an art
collector to retrieve a stolen Vincent van Gogh that got stolen a
second time and compared it to Edward
D. Hoch's Nick Velvet series. So jotted down the Cardula stories
as a series of interest and even mentioned in the comments I would
welcome a Crippen & Landru collection. Guess what?In
February, Crippen & Landru released Cardula and the Locked
Rooms (2026), edited and introduced by Brian Skupin, gathering
all nine short stories about the vampire detective and a whopper of a
bonus – all six of Ritchie's impossible crime stories! What a
clever excuse way to turn that misleading short
story title into a descriptively accurate title for this collection
by bundling the Cardula stories with Ritchie's impossible crime
fiction. I admire how Skupin tackles and solves editorial problems.
Like to see more, but let's take a look at this collection first.
Fittingly
enough, this unusual detective series begins with a non-detective
story, "Kid Cardula," which first appeared in the June, 1976,
issue of Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine. Cardula, on the
verge of running completely out of money, turns to a boxing
trainer/promoter, because he has read in the papers "there's a
fortune to be made in prize fights." Something that should be
easy money for an undead vampire possessing the strength of ten men,
but Cardula eventually figures out someone in his position probably
can't afford to become a boxing champion or legend. No matter how big
the prize purses get. So this story is hard to rate as there's no
mystery to be solved, but it sure is a fun story and introduction to
the character. I particularly enjoyed Manny having to arrange
Cardula's fights like pro-wrestling matches, otherwise every fight
would have ended in an instant knock-out. You have to send the crowd
home happy.
These
light, humorous touches and furtive references to Cardula being a
vampire ("You got blue blood in your veins?" "Occasionally") would fortunately be carried over when the
series went into private eye mode with the second story.
"The
Cardula Detective Agency," originally published in the March, 1977,
issue of AHMM, brings Olivia Hampton to Cardula's nighttime
detective agency. Someone took a shot at her uncle, Hector, who had
gathered his family to tell them he was going to cut them all out of
his will and Olivia wants Cardula to ensure he's still alive when he
sees his lawyer the next morning – after which the motive to kill
him is removed. Cardula enters the somewhat eccentric household as a
bodyguard to ensure Uncle Hector lives to see the sunrise.
Hilariously, Cardula reads a book on hematology while sitting guard.
During the night, Cardula finds out the case is not as clear cut as
presented and gets to showcase his abilities as a detective and
vampire-detective. But the ending demonstrates Cardula's not like
other detectives. Not just on account of his fangs or ability to fly.
This story also gives a bit of background on what happened Cardula's
wealth ("what wasn't confiscated or nationalized was destroyed")
and castle ("...east gallery has been converted to public
restrooms"). So good reboot of the character and series.

"The
Canvas Caper," originally published in the August, 1977, issue of
AHMM, brings an unusual, anonymous client to Cardula with
something more akin to a confession than a case. This man and his
associates cut cards to see who had to kill their shared blackmailer
and the man drew the low card. However, he couldn't go through with
it and turned to Cardula figuring "any private detective whose
office hours are from eight P.M. to four A.M. must be closer to the
night world of crime than anybody else." So he offers Cardula
ten thousand dollars to kill the blackmailer or find someone willing
to do the job, but, once again, the assignment is not as simple and
clear cut as it was presented to him. Simply as a detective story, "The Canvas Caper" is blatantly unfair, but, as a story about a
vampire detective, it's as entertaining as all the others."Cardula
to the Rescue," originally published in the December, 1977, issue
of AHMM, casts Cardula not as a boxer, bodyguard or
fangs-for-hire, but as a Good Samaritan coming to the rescue of a
woman. A purse snatcher tried to take her handbag, but Cardula made
short work of him. No good deed goes unpunished. The woman tells him
to mind his own damn business, promptly disappears and the police
want to arrest him for assaulting the purse snatcher! Cardula pulls a
Batman to escape from the policemen, only for exactly the scene to
repeat itself the following evening ("had I somehow
inadvertently passed through a time warp?"). Not surprisingly,
Cardula finds there's more behind the attempted robberies than just
the daily routine of a purse snatcher and his victim.
"Cardula
and the Kleptomaniac," first published in the April, 1978, issue of
AHMM, is the longest story in the series and brings an unusual
problem to Cardula's desk. Diana Weatherly is dying with curiosity to
find out whom of her old friends is the kleptomaniac who has been
stealing their trinkets since their schooldays. She has whittled down
the list of suspects down to four friends and even prepared a baited
trap, but, while trying to catch the thief in the act, she fell
asleep – which is why she turned to Cardula. She wants Cardula to
come to her house party, undercover, to identify the thief. You
guessed it, Cardula pretty quickly notices there's more beneath the
surface than a human magpie. So, plot-wise, this is one of the better
stories, but the conclusion also show its hardboiled side.
"Cardula's
Revenge," originally published in the November, 1978, issue of
AHMM, is similar to the first story, "Kid Cardula," technically not a detective story. Cardula's old nemesis, "that
beast Van Jelsing," is dead, but his grandson, Professor Van
Jelsing the Third, carries on the torch. This new vampire hunter has
become a real pain in the neck to the vampire community, but they
can't get near him as he wears a magical collar around his neck.
What's worse, Van Jelsing is currently in the US on a lecture tour to
present his nephew and successor, Henrik van Jelsing. So what's a
vampire detective to do? Not a detective story or mystery at all, but
an entertaining comedy in which a vampire outwits two vampire hunters
like a Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd skit.
"The
Return of Cardula," originally published in the February, 1982,
issue of AHMM, brings a petty thief and burglar, Walter, to
Cardula. Walter had a partner in crime, Albert, who had been in-and
out jail together nearly their entire life, but something went
terribly wrong when they hit the ball park to go through the locker
rooms while the players out on the field. Walter stood guard at the
entrance, of the corridor leading to the locker rooms, while Albert
went inside to loot the lockers. Two minutes later, a dying Albert
came stumbling back and uttered the cryptic words, "no snow." Yes, an actual dying message! Walter asks Albert to find the killer
of his long-time friend and we get to see Cardula (getting caught)
sneaking into the stadium, but solves the murder and dying message
while watching the ball game. Skupin wrote in the introduction that
this story "could have been an Ellery Queen tale" with "its baseball milieu and wordplay solution" (c.f. Ellery
Queen's "Man
Bites Dog," 1939). I agree!
The
next story is "Cardula and the Locked Room," but already reviewed
it as part of "Locked and Loaded, Part 5." However, it should be
noted it's arguably the best and strongest story of the series.
Perhaps it would have been best if the series had ended here.
"Cardula
and the Briefcase" appeared in the June, 1983, issue of Mike
Shayne Mystery Magazine (not AHMM) and has a premise
similar to “The Return of Cardula.” Alvin Atkins, a burglar,
turns to Cardula after burglary job has presumably gone wrong. He and
his partner, Charley Whittle, burgled a posh apartment, but, when he
returned from bringing a typewriter to their car, discovered the
front door chained shut. Charly tells him through the locked door the
home owner has a gun and is going to call the police, which is
followed by a thud and groan. Alvin makes himself scarce, but the
next day no news about what happened. So asks Cardula to find out
what really happened and the case of the missing burglar becomes
entangled with a briefcase full of money. I suppose this is not
necessarily a bad story, but I found it instantly forgettable and
struggled to remember what it was about. For some reason, this last
story left no impression whatsoever on me.
So
that concludes the first part of Cardula and the Locked Rooms.
Obviously, the Cardula series does not entirely adhere to the
traditional, fair play mystery format. There are three or four really
good, solidly-plotted stories in this series, but their main draw is
unquestionably the character of Cardula, the premise of the series
and the vein of humor running through all the stories. I suggest
reading this as a short series of stories about an unusual detective
instead of a series of unusual detective stories and take the better
plotted stories as an extra.
Now
let's see what Cardula could do with the stronger, plot-driven locked
room mystery and impossible crime story."Upside-Down
World," originally published in the May, 1962, issue of AHMM,
technically is a how-was-it-done, not an impossible crime or locked
room, but a good one. Regan, an insurance investigator, is tasked
with investigation the sudden death of a client, Robert Cramer, who
died from a heart attack when visiting a friend. Nothing suspicious
as the autopsy showed Cramer had died from heart disease, but the
two-hundred thousand dollar life insurance policy obliges the company
to investigate. Even more so when the beneficiary is not the widow,
but a woman named Miss Helen Morland. Only clue or detail hinting at
something resembling foul play is that fingers of Cramer's right hand
had been "seared slightly" with fragments of glass
embedded in them, but he obviously wasn't electrocuted. So what
happened and how do you give a man a heart attack? Like I said, this
is not an impossible crime story, but it definitely has some
impossible crime features like the key-element of the solution. So a
good and solid opening to this section, even though it's technically
a howdunit.
"Swing
High," originally published in the May, 1965, issue of AHMM,
arguably is the best overall short story from this collection. The
policeman narrator is investigating the death of man, Thurmond
Fraser, whose body was found beside the Medical Arts Building beneath
three windows – third, fourth and fifth floors. If he didn't fall
from one of those three windows, he must have fallen from the roof.
However, the roof is covered in a thick, undisturbed coat of coal
dust and each of the three windows is the waiting room of a doctor or
specialist, which were either empty and locked or occupied. Nobody
has seen anyone jumping or being pushed from one of those (locked)
windows. So a neatly posed impossible crime with a credible motive on
the murderer's part to create a confounding locked room situation.
What makes "Swing High" more than just a very well done locked
room mystery is the secondary plot-thread concerning the detective's
marriage. Normally, I'm not exactly a fan of the post-Golden Age
troubled cop trope, but here it complimented the traditionally-styled
impossible crime plot and provided a superb conclusion. A conclusion
that would not have been possible without the detective's private
problems intruding on his work. So definitely a future inclusion for "The
Locked Library."
"Pearls
Before Wine," originally published in the August, 1968, issue of
MSMM, is a three-page, short-short about an attempt of
insurance fraud by making a string of duplicate pearl disappear from
a locked and guarded room. Nothing much to say about this one other
than the method is not bad and couldn't help but think how this
short-short could have been the premise of a novel-length murder
mystery. Just imagine (ROT13)
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gb trg evq bs fbzrbar ol fbzrubj znavchyngvat be thvqvat gung tynff
bs npvq gbjneqf gur ivpgvz. But a fun and amusing short-short
nonetheless.
I'm
not entirely sure if "Play a Game of Cyanide," first published in
the May, 1961, issue of AHMM, counts as a full-blown or
borderline impossible crime story, but either way, it stands as one
of the most original and entertaining stories of its kind. An
exasperated policeman has to deal with a pair of clever and
mischievous children, Ronnie and Gertrude, who got their hands on a
dozen cyanide pellets – which they have hidden all over the house.
A house that has been searched top to bottom by the police, but not
with too much success. So they try everything from threatening to
bribing the children, but they're determined to let police work their
brains in order to find the pellets ("I always regarded the
Children's Crusade as a great tragedy... not quite so certain
now"). Some flashes of inspirations reveal a few of the cunning
hiding places, however, what happened to last cyanide pellet is what
makes this short story a little more than a monstrous Easter Egg hunt
that could have been organized by Agatha
Christie and John
Dickson Carr. I begin to see why Ritchie counted so many short
story writers among his biggest fans.

The
next and penultimate short story is "Box in a Box" (1977), but
already discussed it on this blog in my review of the Edward D. Hoch
edited All
But Impossible: An Anthology of Locked Room and Impossible Crime
Stories (1981). Since it's the least interesting and
successful of Ritchie's impossible crime output, I'm skipping it
here.Finally, "The Crime Machine," originally published in the January, 1961,
issue of AHMM and anthologized in Alfred Hitchcock's
Crime-Watch (1984), ditches the customary supernatural trappings
when a locked room mystery evokes the other worldly to go for a
science-fiction angle. Mr. Reeves is an outwardly normal man with a
wife and an apparently good paying job, but Reeves source of income
primarily comes from being a murderer for hire. So imagine his shock
and surprise when, one day, a man named Henry visits him and tells
him in intricate detail about his most recent murders. Henry claims
to have invented a time machine allowing him to observe the past
anywhere at anytime ("I cannot participate in any manner in the
past... only observe"). So why not look at some recent,
unsolved murders for a bit of extra pocket money. Reeves laughs at
the whole idea and tells Henry to hop in his time machine to find out
Jack the Ripper's true identity ("I'll do that tonight"),
but how did he know about the murders down the smallest detail?
Slowly, but surely, Reeves becomes convinced the time machine might
be real after all. And wants to buy it. But not without a convincing
demonstration. Henry gives a demonstration worth his money as he hops
into his time machine and briefly vanishes from a sealed room.
"The
Crime Machine" is, of course, not a hybrid science-fiction mystery,
like Anthony Boucher's "Elsewhen" (1946) or Isaac
Asimov's "Obituary" (1959), but a good, old-fashioned locked
room mystery with a solid explanation for the disappearing time
machine. The source of Henry's impossible knowledge is linked to the
who and why, which is not overlooked in this excellent impossible
crime story. I have mentioned
this before, but never understood why the post-WWII detective story,
especially the impossible crime story, rarely ventured outside the
Victorian setups of haunted houses, cursed rooms and murder around a
séance table. Just the still largely untapped potential for
impossible crime stories and locked room mysteries involving possible
time travel, apparent interlopers from parallel universes and outer
space. As this story shows, it gives a new impulse to the classic
locked room setup. Great story to end this collection on!
Cardula
and the Locked Rooms can stake a claim to the title of best
balanced anthology or collection of short stories. Cardula, the
vampire-detective, is the star and main attraction of his own series,
but with enough twists and turns to keep the demanding, slightly
spoiled detective fans like myself happy. The stories with the gamey
plots can be found in the Locked Rooms section. "Swing High," "Play a Game of Cyanide" and "The Crime Machine" being the
standouts with "Upside-Down World" and even the short-short "Pearls Before Wine" following closely behind. So, to cut a long
story short, Cardula and the Locked Room is a fantastic short story
collection from Crippen & Landru and Brian Skupin that comes
highly recommended.
I
guess between Seishi Yokomizo's Yoru
aruku (She Walks at Night, 1948), Locked
Room Puzzles (1986), Carver's Death
in 13 Rooms (2026) and this collection, I more than made up
for the dry spell in locked room reviews last month.