The Thief Who Stole Christmas: "The Adventure of the Dauphin's Doll" (1948) by Ellery Queen

Ellery Queen's "The Adventure of the Dauphin's Doll" was originally conceived as a radio-play, written by Manfred B. Lee, which aired in December 1943 as the 157th episode of The Adventures of Ellery Queen and later reworked into a short story – published in the December, 1948, issue of Ellery Queen's Mystery Magazine. The short story version was collected a few years later with other radio-play adaptations in Calendar of Crime (1952) and has since been reprinted in a number of anthologies. Most notably, Hans Santesson's The Locked Room Reader (1968) and Otto Penzler's The Big Book of Christmas Mysteries (2013).

So you can see how "The Adventure of the Dauphin's Doll" turned up in several anthologies over the decades, but the story can be called contentious. Some think it's "one of EQ's best impossible crime tales" and Robert Adey wrote in an essay, titled "The Impossible Mr. Queen" (collected in The Tragedy of Errors and Others, 1999), that the story "displays such skill and inventiveness that I would rate it as Queen's most accomplished miracle story at this length," but it also has its fair share of detractors. Jim and Kate reviewed the short story, here and here, which were not exactly dripping with raw enthusiasm. I remember liking the story upon my first read, sometime during the late 2000s, but can it stand up to a second read? Let's find out! 

"The Adventure of the Dauphin's Doll" begins with the law of Christmas stories stating that "stories about Christmas shall have children in them" with an "incline toward Sweetness and Light."

This is "a story about Dolls, and that Santa Claus comes into it, and even a Thief." The dolls in question are part of a collection, or "Dollection," that belonged to the recently departed Miss Cytherea Ypson and it falls on her estate lawyer, John S. Bondling, to dispose of the estate – which has turned out to be headache dossier. Firstly, the collection constitutes the entire estate, "sank every nickel she had in it," but there's "no set market for the damnable things" ("museums always want such things as free and unencumbered gifts"). Only one the dolls can be called a "negotiable asset," the Dauphin's Doll. An exquisite royal doll that was a birthday gift from King Louis XVI of France to his second son, Louis Charles, who became dauphin at the death of his elder brother in 1789. What makes the doll so valuable is that it wears a "gold circlet crown surmounted by single blue brilliant diamond of finest water" easily "worth a hundred thousand dollars at the present state of the market." Secondly, Miss Ypson's will stated the entire collection to be sold at auction and proceeds used to create a fund for orphan children. Thirdly, the will also provides that, on the day preceding Christmas, the Cytherea Ypson Dollection is to be publicly displayed on the main floor of Nash's Department Store. And that brings the estate lawyer to the doorstep of the Queens residence.

John Bondling tells Inspector Richard Queen and Ellery Queen that the Dauphin's Doll not only is going to attract every crook in New York, but has already attracted the attention of "the most dangerous thief operating in the United States." Comus is a gentleman thief "in the grand tradition of Lupin" who "seems to take a special delight in stealing valuable things under virtually impossible conditions." He personally informed the lawyer he's going to steal the doll when it's on display at Nash's Department Store.

So the New York police goes all out to protect the doll and erected a six-feet high platform, surrounded with counter displays for the normal collection, on which stands a Valhalla-like throne from the Fine Furniture Department – sitting on it is Sgt. Velie dressed as Santa Claus. The Dauphin's Doll is placed in a special display case with "a thick glass door" that has "a formidable lock" on it and the key lay buried in Ellery Queen's pocket. Inspector Queen handpicked twenty-four assorted gendarmes who kept the display case under constant observation. The gemstone was authenticated by an expert from headquarters, before it was locked inside the glass case. But, at the end of the day, they discover the doll had been replaced with a replica! Comus did it, but how?

I can see why I liked this story on my first reading. Sgt. Velie is one of my favorite side-characters and giving him a slightly bigger role is always going to get my approval, but had also discovered the 1975 Ellery Queen TV-series at the time. I remember now thinking the story would've made a great character-piece to the series as it gives some interesting glimpses of the main characters around Christmastime. Inspector Richard Queen likes "his Christmas old-fashioned" and "his turkey stuffing, for instance, calls for twenty-two hours of over-all preparation" with "some of its ingredients are not readily found at the corner grocer's." Ellery Queen is "a frustrated gift-wrapper" who "turns his sleuthing genius to tracking down unusual wrapping papers, fine ribbons and artistic stickers." And "he spends the last two days creating beauty." And then you have Sgt. Velie playing Santa Claus! You can even translate the editor deleting Sgt. Velie's rude reply with a hard cut to the next scene. I really believe "The Adventure of the Dauphin's Doll" would have been a better TV episode than a short story, or even radio-play, because the plot is not as good as I remembered. Not even close!

Ellery Queen is correct when he says, after the facts, that the theft of the doll was "a fundamentally simple problem." The solution is completely logical. So logical, it should have occurred to everyone the moment the substitution of the doll was discovered. I guess that explains why it took so long to get to the meat of the story and plot (one of Jim's complaints) as the puzzle would have been more at home in a filler-episode of Ellery Queen's Minute Mysteries. Even worse, the solution is so horrendously logical and simplistic, it makes the detective and criminal look like a pair of idiots. That "luminous prodigy" is fooled by one of the most transparent tricks on record, which becomes even more damning when Queen's false-solution concerning Sgt. Velie is proven incorrect. Comus is an idiot as his scheme is basically a full-proof plan to get caught, because anyone with a claim to sentience can see right through it.

So, all in all, Queen's "The Adventure of the Dauphin's Doll" is a fun, American-style Christmas story with a detective hook, but, purely as a plot-driven detective story, it can be counted among EQ's weakest detective stories. And not anywhere close to being one of the best impossible crime stories in the series. For example, the virtually unknown, 1943 radio-play "The Adventure of the Vanishing Magician" is actually one of EQ's better attempts at the locked room mystery, but the script was never adapted into a short story and has been practically forgotten. 

A note for the curious: Kaito KID said in Gosho Aoyama's Case Closed, vol. 16, "a thief is a creative artist, devising brilliant ways to steal his prize and a detective following in his footsteps and hunting for faults is no better than a mere critic." Fair enough. So, as the resident locked room fanboy, I want to propose an alternative, hopefully better, solution to the impossible theft – which was not easy with such an incredibly tightly-drawn situation. I've to ROT13 my alternative solution as it contains spoilers. So my solution hinges on modifying and muddying the real-solution as (ROT13) Obaqyvat fgvyy znxrf n fhofgvghgr jura ur qbrf va gur erny fbyhgvba, ohg, vafgrnq bs fhofgvghgvat n pbcl bs gur qbyy, ur bayl fhofgvghgrf gur pebja naq qvnzbaq jvgu n pbcl. Naq uvqrf gur bevtvany vafvqr gur eblny pybguvat bs gur qbyy. Fb ur unf abguvat ba uvz jura Ryyrel whzcf gb gur cnegvnyyl pbeerpg fbyhgvba naq npphfrf uvz bs univat fjnccrq gur qbyy jvgu n pbcl. Erzrzore, vg jnf Obyqyvat jub pynvzrq gur qbyy jnf n pbcl naq gur cbyvpr rkcreg pna bayl gryy gurz gur qvnzbaq unf orra ercynprq jvgu n snxr. Jura rirelbar vf frnepurq, abobql unf gur erny qbyy be qvnzbaq ba gurz. Lbh qenj nggragvba njnl ol qenjvat nggragvba gb vg, ohg jvgu gur jebat bowrpg. Naq jura Ryyrel svanyyl svtherf vg bhg, ur pna ravtzngvpnyyl erznex gung gur cbyvpr unq sbetbggra gb frnepu bar crefba (gur qbyy). This is the best I could do with the premise and solution of the story. Hope you enjoyed the alternative solution.